judgement

I used to be the worst when it came to judging people from the little things I had heard or just by the way they look. High school can really ruin and tear a person to pieces. I think a lot of the reasons I was so judging was because of the way I was treated through Jr high and high school. Ever since the 9th grade I've believed that I wasn't beautiful. In my mind I've always been too chubby, not pretty enough, and just a crap person. It really affected the friendships I made these past few years. I never tried talking to the "cool/popular" kids who always seemed to have the most fun and friends in school, I was too afraid of how they'd look at me because I wasn't beautiful.

A lot of things bothered me throughout high school like stereotypes, cliques, bullies, unimportant classes, and judgement. Walking into the school building everyday was like judgement day. I never felt like I could fit in, and that probably explains why I've only had one constant friend the past 3 years. 

Alright, I'm not trying to tell you my bullying stories, I'm not trying to pull a Demi and whine over every fat/ugly comment I've received, I'm not even saying these things to make you feel bad for me. And you really shouldn't feel bad for me because I finally feel beautiful (took long enough right?). Sure, every once in a while I have a bad hair day or look at my thighs and think dang these are thick muthasuckas but I LIKE that I don't look "perfect". 

I want every young, middle aged, and old person to know that you should stop caring. Once you stop caring how people interpret the kind of person you are from the first look they get of you, you'll be so much happier. I know, this is easier said than done. But if you want real, genuine, happy people in your life the first step to loving yourself and not caring about anyone else's thoughts is to stop judging. First impressions are fine, but don't keep one set thought about someone just because they are wearing a strange outfit (it's not strange to them), or because they look a certain way (they can't help the way they're born).

Please please please just try to find the great and good and fantastic in everyone you meet. That gothic girl who eats by herself? She is an amazing artist. That new boy who can't hold a conversation with pretty girls? He's the best drummer you'll ever meet. That girl who wears bizarre clothes? She's going to be the coolest actress ever. Plus you can always find an amazing feature, that boy has crooked teeth but the most blue eyes I've ever seen, that girl probably dyed her hair too much but she has the cutest laugh.

Once we get over ourselves, we can start falling for everyone we meet.

Crazy Bird -by Wild Child

Love, k.